I am a business professional who has worked between privately owned companies and corporate America for more than a decade. Here is my story on how I see discrimination and racism at work.
Early in my career as a buyer on the third week at my job, I got a significant salary increase. The CEO called me and an account executive (AE) into his office and declared, “As of today, you both make the same salary and will get the same raise every year. You are my right and left hands. You’re in charge.”
Three days earlier, I met with the CEO and shared some information that left him alarmed, yet candidly grateful. I pointed out discrepancies I discovered in client contracts and proposed a revised weekly report to address clients’ frequently asked questions. I discussed the time I already spent with employees to correct inconsistencies in how they were marking up net costs to gross pricing. I believed this conversation earned me that raise.
After a 13% salary increase, the black buyer and the white account executive were on equal footing.
I implemented new ideas, and trained the AE and new employees, and the AE traveled with the CEO to meet our clients. Within a year, our performance eventually separated us and the AE left. I led a team of buyers, and earned the title of client retention specialist. I was assigned the accounts with unhappy client relationships and was responsible for resurrecting client trust to save the business. I spent six months winning clients back and fielding questions. “When are we going to meet you Sonji? Will you be on the next quarterly trip? We’d love to have you at the next dinner.” The CEO said, “… the next trip.” After two years I resigned without ever meeting any client face to face.
For a long time, I wanted to believe that the onus was on me, and the lesson was to do better at selling myself on my first chance at any job interview. I wanted to find a place where I would be treated differently and be seen.
More than a decade later and hoping time had changed some things, I worked for a similar company. I was hired with a management title making the salary I deserved in a position to solve problems. The owner did not agree with my evaluation and was offended by my opinion that solving the business problems had to start with significant changes from the top. He made his own decisions and within three months the primary responsibilities on my job description were reassigned to other employees. My work became a routine of creating unread reports, leading perfunctory meetings and backfilling vacant positions no one else wanted. My direct report was moved to another team. None of my proposed ideas were implemented and sustained.
Yet, I was profiled in new business proposals with the management title I was hired for. My face was used several times to help cloak the company as a culturally diverse team to the public. I presented in new business pitches a few times where I was seen by client prospects and influenced their decisions. Conversely, I was an employee in management with no internal influence or valued opinions amongst my peers.
Some of the owner’s decisions reflected directly on me due to my position. To the public eye, my job title held me accountable and to blame for some of the company’s critical mistakes. I found this culpability unbearable and knew this was the verge of career suicide. I was not quiet about it.
Now my colleagues asked me the questions. “Why don’t they let you do your job? Sonji, how do you stay professional about it? I can’t believe they spoke to you like that.” I did not feel empowered or liked. HR’s role was to do nothing and hope I would resign. I almost missed the job from ten years ago. This was not good for me, and I no longer work there.
It takes more than time to change discrimination.
Please don’t mistake the solution to institutional racism to be a bigger paycheck and a management title. I have had both. The solution can start there but does not stop there. Fixing the problem requires attention, intention and personal change. Most people don’t talk about institutional racism because it is often difficult to paint the picture for others. It can be a long, negative narrative describing how people create collusion, intimidation, roadblocks to growth and good performance, or leave employees feeling unseen and unrecognized for their work. It’s a sob story. No one wants to hear sad stories.
Sometimes other people don’t see my problem. Instead, they say I am the problem and judge me as someone who just wants to see everything as black versus white. If we can’t agree on what the problem is, how do we get to the point of recognizing our individual responsibility to change? Knowing the real problem has to happen before forming any intention can begin. My story is only one of many untold workplace stories.
I have hope for better workplace cultures for everyone, and I have not given up on our institutions. When my niece told me she wanted to follow in my career footsteps, I arranged her internship at one of these companies. I wanted her to see the world from her own lenses and tell her own story.
To me, racism is a sickness, and people who are subjected to it and those who exercise discrimination are not well. I have worked alongside and thrived with well people in good workplace environments like Bank of America and other organizations. The company culture and practices support the success for employees with aspirations and on a mission for growth. To me, Liz Fosslein described what I see as well and good when she said …
This article was inspired by Nadia De Ala, CPCC’s article “It’s important to speak up even when your voice shakes.” and Cynthia Bowman’s article “What do we tell our children?” Thank you.